Cheney Arrives to Satisfy the Australian Thirst for Positive Feedback

American Vice-President Dick Cheney will arrive in Australia next week for the express purpose of delivering, on behalf of President George Bush, the good news that Australia’s participation in Iraq has not gone to waste in the minds of the current American administration. Never mind that Cheney has an approval rating of 18% among the American public* --- he will make a speech on Friday to the Australian American Leadership Dialogue at the Shangri La Hotel to announce American approval.
And at the perfect time, too! He arrives just following John Howard’s denouncement of American Presidential candidate Barrack Obama’s policy for troop withdrawal, which sparked outrage at this obvious political slip-up.
Nevertheless, Australian-American relations aren’t looking so peachy, considering this low approval rating and the potential future of American politics. Perhaps the Australian government should focus on policies which benefit the Australian people, instead of passing judgement on other nations and their politics.

* - http://www.commondreams.org/views07/0208-31.htm

Poem of the Week - The Third Member, A Eulogy

We started a blog, it was called The New Juice
This was on the suggestion of a person named Luce

But once it began she forgot to write posts
And H and M had to write the most

She had even forgot the website address
And so The New Juice lacked Lucy's finesse

It was our dream to be media queens
Stars of the radio, the net, the screen

Now all of our hopes lie smashed on the floor
And writing this blog is kind of a chore

We know if she reads this, how she will condemn
'Oh, but dear friends, you've got a scansion problem!'

And while we are sad because this is true
At least we contribute to The Juice that is New.

Welcome to A New Juice with the New Year

Some of you, ie. our one reader Ellen, may have noticed a slowing down of post towards the end of 2006, and indeed the beginning of 2007. Speculation amongst our readers, ie. Ellen, was that this was because the writers of The New Juice were lazy and inept at writing (often, in fact, using two different forms of the word 'write' within a single sentence, now three).

Let us take this opportunity to refute that claim.

News at the end of 2006 and the beginning of 2007 was extremely slow. Nothing happened. Parliament was out, regular bloggers on holidays, and most journalists setting out to write sentences couldn't think of good ways to end them, because nothing was happening, and were forced to make a comment on the fashion with which other journalists were ending their own sentences.

We at The New Juice refused to sink to the jouranlistic lows of the ABC, who were found one night to have reported on a rise in Bollywood Dance Classes only 10 minutes into their national nightly news program, and on another evening ran a five minute story about a man in China who raised a small sum for a small boy to have a small operation.

We do not report such trivial matters. When there is no news, we report nothing.

The New Juice: the only media corporation with any integrity round here.